I know we're heading into mid-January at this point and most people already have resolved which behaviors to change for 2011. These suggestions have been marinating in my mind since I came across this list last week and I thought I'd share them with all of you.
From
John Rosemond (he's the expert I refer to in the title, not me, haha):
1. We will not throw expensive “event parties” for our children on their birthdays. Instead, we will confine all birthday celebrations to our family, including extended family. We will keep it uncomplicated: a special dinner of the birthday boy or girl’s favorite food, a cake, the obligatory song, and a few simple gifts, mostly clothing or other useful things.
This one is hard...although I understand Rosemond's motive for the suggestion, I tend to think that birthdays are special days unlike the other 364 days of the year. Moving on...
2. We will spend at least as much time helping our children develop good manners as do helping them get good grades in school, which means we will cut back significantly on the time helping with the latter (in consideration of the fact that good manners, which are expressions of respect for others, will take one further in life than will good grades). Each week, we will work on one specific social courtesy, such as saying “excuse me” when you walk in front of someone. Taking two weeks off, that’s fifty courtesies a year!
3. We will show our love for our neighbors by properly disciplining our children, insisting on proper behavior, and reprimanding immediately (even if that means in front of other people) when they behave otherwise, and on those occasions we will also insist they apologize appropriately.
4. If we have not already done so, we will assign a routine of daily chores to each of our children (at least those who have reached their third birthdays) and we will insist that said chores be done, and done properly, before they engage in recreation or relaxation.
I like this! Mason is 3 and it is high time that he begin mopping the floors and cutting the grass! Okay, that might be a bit much...we'll start with having him make his bed every morning.
5. When our children ask us for cell phones, we will tell them that they may have cell phones when they are able to pay for them as well as the monthly bills.
6. When our children complain that they are the only kids who don’t have cell phones (and do chores), we will tell them that learning how to be different is character-building.
7. Our children will not be able to order customized meals unless we take them to a restaurant. At home, they will eat what we are eating, and they will sit at the table until they are finished. We will do this so that when they are invited to eat at someone else’s home, they will be the best of guests.
8. We will surely bond with our children, but we will not bond with them in the marital bed, nor will we bond with them in their beds.
When our family had the awful stomach bug last week, Mason crawled into bed with us at 4:00 one morning. I don't think any of us got any sleep once he was in our bed! Some people tell me they wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm so glad we never let this habit develop.
9. In keeping with number 8, we will put our marriage first and our children second…for their sake as well as ours. They will revolve around us; thus, they will not grow up thinking the world revolves around them.
10. If I am a single parent, I will take good care of myself for my sake as well as my children’s. I will have an active, adult’s only, social life. I will take plenty of personal time to simply relax and do those things I like to do. I will do all of that so that my children will not ever think the world revolves around them.
11. We/I will put our/my children to bed early so that we/I can end each day reconnecting as a couple or relaxing as a single.
This is so important to me and Graem. Our boys go to bed at 8:00 sharp so that we can have "us" time. Even when Graem travelled for work during the week I stuck to the bedtime to maintain my sanity!
12. We will eat as a family around our own table at least six nights a week.
Although I really, really like this idea, I know that in our life it is not practical. We have decided to shoot for four nights a week, maybe we can adjust that in 2012.
13. We will keep after-school activities to a minimum, and only let them enroll in activities that do not prevent us from delivering on number 11.
14. Instead of buying our children expensive things, we will help them develop hobbies and take them to museums and on trips.
This might be my favorite suggestion of all. A few weeks ago when talking with family about favorite Christmas gifts, I was at a loss. I can't really remember any "special" gifts from Santa. I never felt deprived. I have wonderful memories of family trips to the Grand Canyon, Alaska, Disney, the Bahamas, Washington DC, Gettysburg, Mobile, St. Louis, etc., with MANY museum stops along the way.
15. We will do all of the above so that when they grow up, they will have wonderful memories of their childhoods and raise our grandchildren in a manner that honors us.
