Baby Wyatt

My sweet nephew Wyatt passed away in his sleep from SIDS on the night before Christmas Eve.  He was almost five months old.  (Link to obituary) 



He was the fifth grandson in our family and was truly the sweetest, happiest baby. The only time he showed his temper was when he was hungry!  We had so many hopes and dreams for baby Wyatt.  I knew he and Duncan would be best buddies, just like Roper and Robert are.



I have often found myself speechless in the past twelve days.  I can find no words of comfort for Rob and Kelli.  It has been heart-wrenching to watch my sweet brother and sister-in-law go through this.  I feel so helpless.  There are times when I haven't even found the words to pray.  Verses, hymns, and words of songs bounce around in my head, my thoughts are scrambled and my emotions are completely mixed up.





We can't make sense of it now, we just have to move forward in faith and take comfort knowing that he is in a place where sickness, sorrow, pain and death are felt and feared no more.  He is with all the saints that have gone before us and I know there were many waiting to greet him at the gates.


Healing does not seem possible at this point, but I know that God will supply the peace and comfort we all need in time. I am reminded of Brian Habig's sermon last October.  We live in a broken, fallen world.  If it weren't, then we wouldn't need God and wouldn't long for something better.  In the words of my Daddy, "Our God is an awesome God, and our savior Jesus Christ is Lord of Lords and King of Kings.  We are leaning on the everlasting arms."



Romans 8:18-30
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
 

Test Results & Ramblings

An update before I forget the details...  :)

In my last post I mentioned that Duncan's neurologist can tell from the MRI that the stroke was caused by a blood clot...so the next steps were to test his blood for clotting disorders and also scan his heart to make sure it was working properly (he was born with a heart arrhythmia, so the neuro thought the clot could have originated in his heart).

The blood work came back normal.  We had a little scare with his heart, which was mostly due to a phone call from a nurse that lacked full information on the results of the echocardiogram.   Turns out he has a small hole in the top of his heart called a PFO which is normal for babies in utero but should close on its own after birth.  It is not something that requires surgery to close; our ped is hopeful that as Duncan grows it will close on its own.  He will have another echo in 6 months to monitor it. 

So...the hole probably caused the arrhythmia...but based on the location of the hole, it did not likely cause the clot.  Which makes the stroke more of a mystery.  A mystery which we will probably never solve.  As much as I would like to know exactly when and why it happened, I have accepted that I probably never will know and it wouldn't change anything going forward, so I'm doing my best to let it go.

We are going to see a different neurologist, although we aren't sure who or where.  We really would like to find a ped neurologist that specializes in infant stroke.  In the meantime, Duncan is continuing weekly PT & OT (and of course we are modeling the exercises at home).  He loves it!  The OT made a hard splint that he sleeps in at night and a soft splint that he wears for part of the day.  The main purpose of the splints is to open his right hand and stretch out his fingers, particularly his thumb. 

We can see some improvement from the therapy.  He has been getting up on hands & knees and rocking like he wants to crawl.  I think it will be a while before he takes off because he has to figure out how to make his right hand/knee move forward, but we are happy that he is trying and the therapists like the symmetry of his "crawling stance."  When he first got up on hands & knees, his right arm was bowed out to the side but now he pulls it right underneath him so that the left and right arms are both straight. 

So...we see improvement, but at the same time the weakness in his right side has become more pronounced.  His left side seems to be getting stronger by the minute and it is just happening much more slowly on the right.  He can now feed himself Puffs or Cheerios with his left hand, as for his right hand, we are just happy if we see him attempt to use it at all.

We are still working on starting Speech Therapy (SLP).  Why would a 7-month-old need speech?  For one thing, he is not really babbling at all.  Although he is not entirely quiet, he is not making syllable sounds (baba, dada, etc).  Sometimes SLPs can help with feeding issues, which thankfully he does not have (as of Thursday he is almost 21 lbs!!).  The most important thing an SLP can help Duncan with at this point is cognitive development.  It is easy to focus on the way the stroke affected his right side because thats what we see, but the brain is a muscle which needs exercise, and SLP can help with that through cognitive exercises.  I'm really curious to see what types of things they will do with him!

Lots of people ask me how I'm doing or how I'm handling all of this...and I have to say I really have a peace about everything.  I don't want Duncan's stroke to define him.  I know we will have bumps in the road...but isn't that part of parenting?  I know Duncan will struggle at certain things...but we all have struggles.  I have my moments of sadness and fear but I'm hoping and praying and doing my best to get past that!  Above all, I know that God has a plan and I know that it is the best plan. He blessed us with Duncan which tells me He knows we can handle this! 

Earlier this year our pastor preached through the book of Ephesians.  I don't think Duncan had even been born when he taught Chapter 3, but several of the verses stuck with me.  I saved them in my iPhone, this is my prayer for all of my children and we used these verses on Duncan's baptism invitations:

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Those verses are a reality check for me!  They bring me back to what's important -- teaching my children the love of Christ.  Not to make light of Duncan's condition, but his life will be bigger than what we are going through now.  I'm thankful to be part of it!

Catching Up: Easter

I'm determined to catch up on the blog posts that I've had floating around in my head for the past few weeks! My Easter pictures are limited and really random...Duncan had just turned 3 weeks old at that point and the whole weekend is kind of a blur! Thursday we went to the zoo with friends...Friday we cooked out & hunted eggs with friends...Saturday we had our church egg hunt at the beautiful Saluda River Club outdoor center...and Sunday we celebrated the resurrection of our Savior with a beautiful church service followed by visiting family at the farm. Easter baskets were sort of an afterthought for us this year. The week before Easter I took M&R to get Easter shoes and Mason begged to try on these: Me: "We aren't here for tennis shoes, we are only getting Easter shoes." Mason (on the way out of the store): "That's okay, Mama. You don't have to buy those orange shoes for me. The Easter Bunny knows I want them and he'll bring them to me." Yeah. There could be worse things that a little boy wants from the Easter Bunny, right? At least shoes will be worn and they are definitely better for him than a bunch of candy! So, the Easter Bunny obliged Mason's #1 request and also brought some for Roper. (For some reason my iPhone photos turn out blurry when the flash is on) Please note the shoes and ignore the fact that my child brought a huge stick in the house. We made these "resurrection rolls" on Easter morning. They turned out just right and were really tasty!

Source: eatatallies.com via Brantley on Pinterest

All of the ingredients have a meaning...the dough represents the cloth that Christ was wrapped in; the marshmallow represents Jesus, all white and pure because he was without sin, etc. Hopefully we can make this a tradition! Here are Mason and Roper right before leaving for church: While we were at the farm Duncan got to meet Gigi. Here is Gi with her eighth great-granchild!

Roper's Catechism & Scripture Memory Review

Is it surprising that teaching Catechism and Scripture Memory work to a 2-year-old is a challenge?? And that it requires massive amounts of patience?? I know it is just a phase...but the distractions were endless...from a picture of Graem, to scissors, to paper, to the sound of his foot kicking the chair, to the dog. Watch and see...and believe it or not, when we went in for the mid-point review, he passed with flying colors!! He climbed up in the chair and {correctly} answered all the questions without flinching.

Mason's Catechism & Scripture Memory Review

You may remember from a post last year that our church has a Catechism and Scripture Memory Program (CAMP) for children starting at age 2. Yes, age 2! It is so amazing what they can learn and retain at such a young age! Since Roper is 2, this is his first year participating in CAMP, but Mason is now in his second year.

This year Mason has until May to learn the answers to the first 13 Catechism questions, as well as memorize six verses. The mid-point review was last week, and Mason has already mastered all the questions as well as the first verse! Now he has until the end of May to learn the remaining 5 verses and then bring on the reward -- all the children that complete their CAMP memory work get a free trip to a waterpark! (That will be fun with a newborn in tow!) :)



I could hardly believe my eyes and ears when I looked back at the video of Mason reciting his Catechism and Scripture from last year...his speech has seen such a huge improvement over the past year and he seems so much more mature now. This was a wake up that I need to take more videos of my boys! I'll be back soon with Roper's recitation.

And in case you are interested, here are the Catechism Q&A and verses that we are working on:

1. Who made you? God.
2. What else did God make? God made all things.
3. Why did God make you and all things? For His own glory.
4. How can you glorify God? By loving Him and doing what He commands.
5. Why are you to glorify God? Because He made me and takes care of me.
6. Is there more than one true God? No. There is only one true God.
7. In how many Persons does this one God exist? In three persons.
8. Name these three persons. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
9. What is God? God is a Spirit and doesn't have a body like men.
10. Where is God? God is everywhere.
11. Can you see God? No. I cannot see God, but He always sees me.
12. Does God know all things? Yes. Nothing can be hidden from God.
13. Can God do all things? Yes. God can do all his holy will.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14a
"God saw all that He had made, and it was very good." Genesis 1:31a
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good." Psalm 136:1a
"If you love me, you will obey what I command." John 14:15
"There is no one like you, O LORD, and there is no God but you." 1 Chronicles 17:20a
"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go." Genesis 28:15a

Our Third Sweet Baby Boy

I feel like everyone in the world was holding their breath on Wednesday to find out the gender of baby Clark #3! And thanks to text messaging and Facebook, and now my blog, now the whole world knows!



Yes, we are having a third boy. Last night Graem and I joined the Smyths to see "Rain," the musical tribute to the Beatles, and all day today I've been singing "one and one and one is three...come together..."

I have to admit that this pregnancy is so different from the first two that I really thought it must be a girl...of course this is only the third time that I've been wrong in predicting the gender of my children...so much for a mother's intuition! But I learned a long time ago that God knows best and I know He is giving us this baby boy for a reason. I know God has big plans for this little fella's life and it is an honor for me to get to be his Mama. And there is definitely something special about three boys...there aren't many Mamas that can say they had three boys ages four and under!

Now that I've had a couple of days for the news to sink in, I thought I would share some random thoughts I've had and/or suggestions from others about raising 3 boys.
1. The southern gentleman is an endangered species; I'm glad to do my part to increase the population.
2. Since I'm only capable of producing heirs, I must have been meant for royalty.
3. We need to increase the coverage of our homeowner's insurance.
4. I plan to pick the wives of all 3 of my sons.
5. Graem thinks a third boy justifies the need his wish to buy a camper.
6. Boys love their mamas best.
7. It's a good thing I like to cook.
8. We will always have female pets in our home.
9. I believe that boys can be well-mannered, kind, considerate, and respectful and still be "all boy."
10. My boys are fortunate that they'll have brothers as playmates and friends for life.

Exactly What I Needed to Hear

The sermon on Sunday morning at the women's retreat was exactly what I needed to hear. Don't you love it when that happens? I really think the whole reason I was at the conference was to hear that sermon.

Apologies in advance for what is sure to be a deep post. Here goes.

I am a pretty happy person in general, but sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed with all the suffering in the world. And I feel helpless because I can't fix it.

Cancer, and what it is doing to my sweet mother-in-law.

Gangs in schools.

Starving children. Neglected & abused children.

Friends that struggle with infertility.

Teen pregnancy.

Birth defects.

When you couple all this suffering with the disappointment I feel for our country, our society, our world, it can really get you down. Then I start thinking about my children having to grow up in this world...and my grandchildren...goodness, how depressing. I know its not all bad, but I know how much things have changed since I was a child, and it saddens me that my children will have so many additional things to worry about.

So...back to the sermon. The guest pastor was Rev. Brian Habig from Downtown Presbyterian in Greenville. He was really good...and I'm not gonna lie, as much as we love our church and pastor, it kind of made me want to move to Greenville just so I could go to his church.

I'm planning to download the sermon so that I can listen to it whenever I start feeling "the weight of the world on my shoulders."

I'm pretty sure my recap of his sermon won't do it justice, so I'll just stick to his scripture references. The sermon was centered on Romans 8:18, a familiar verse. But for some reason it really resonated on Sunday.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

How encouraging! And the rest of the passage is great as well, so I'll post it below. And since I'm a good Presbyterian, I will continue through the part about predestination. :)

19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Weekend Recap

We kicked off the weekend with my nephew's 2nd birthday party on Friday night, and then my mom and I took off to Atlanta for a women's retreat. We rolled into Atlanta late Friday night, and on Saturday had a packed day of seminars, shopping, eating out, and even managed to watch a movie! Even though we go to different churches, they are part of the same denomination, and this retreat was for women in the PCA. We didn't realize what a big deal the conference was -- there were over 2,000 women there! I even ran into a good friend that I grew up with!

It was so nice to spend time with my mom, just the two of us. Sometimes it makes me feel old that I'm actually friends with my mom (ha!). Sunday morning we had a worship service, then more shopping, followed by more eating...and then we headed back to Laurens for my grandmother's 87th birthday celebration (and Kate's 20th birthday celebration!).

I can count on one hand the number of times I have left the boys at home with Graem for a weekend. He is a great father, but we all know that sometimes dads can miss details that mothers are particular about. So Sunday morning I asked Graem to send me a picture of the boys dressed for church. Before I left I laid out church clothes for them, but he insisted that he could manage. He sent me this picture...



I have to admit he did pretty good. :) Although I can't tell if it was just windy or if he didn't brush their hair? Anyway, the picture was preceded with this text (keep in mind that Sunday mornings are always hectic & we make a mad dash to get to Sunday School by 9:30):
"I don't know what to do with all this time. Read the paper cover to cover. Both boys dressed, fed & ready to walk out door for church. Don't know how I've done this! Love you!"

Sounds like he's ready to handle 3, don't you agree? :)

Easter Weekend

What a beautiful weekend we had to celebrate Easter! It was a wonderful weekend of fun and fellowship with family and friends, with probably not enough time spent reflecting on how very undeserving I am of the gift Christ has given me.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we consider him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:4-6

I feel like I have tons of pictures to share from the weekend, but none from Supper Club/Tunmore baby shower on Friday night...and none of us as a family in our Easter finest on Sunday morning! In fact, I have no pictures of myself from the entire weekend. I promise I was there! I need to start handing off my camera...

Saturday morning our church had a big egg hunt for the children...













These three are in the same Sunday School class.



Thankfully they have a wonderful teacher that they absolutely adore. Here is Mason with his much beloved Ms. Ginny...



Saturday was also mine and Graem's 6th anniversary! I know, SIX years. Time flies when you're having fun! :) We put the boys to bed early on Saturday night and I cooked a gourmet meal that I found in one of my Christmas with Southern Living books (I'm pretty sure its the 2001 edition).

I was flipping through trying to find the recipe for the dish I was bringing for Easter dinner when I came across a recipe for Fig Glazed Quail. Hmmm...we just happened to have some quail in the freezer from one of Graem's hunting trips. I have never cooked quail but I always trust SL to come up with something tasty. Why not? They recommended accompanying recipes of Bacon and Pecan Dressing and Skillet Red Cabbage.

So I gave it a shot...and about 3.5 hours later dinner was served! Note to self -- don't try THREE new recipes all at once. My timing was off and the "fig glaze" had about 32 steps to reach the finished product. No doubt, it was all delicious! But...have you ever eaten quail? It was kind of like eating chicken wings...messy! Not exactly the elegant dinner I had in mind. It was delicious nonetheless and it was fun to try some new recipes to enjoy with my sweetie!

Moving right along...on Easter morning the bunny made a quick stop to fill up the baskets and leave some beach chairs...and now that I'm looking back through my pictures I'm really annoyed with myself because for months I have been wanting an external flash for my camera so that I won't have pesky shadows in my inside pictures. I got the flash for my birthday, over a month ago, and I still haven't learned to use it. I'll get on that pronto!











I'm just realizing that it might appear that we don't fully dress our children in pajamas...in last year's Easter morning post, Mason wasn't wearing pajama bottoms, just underwear...and in this year's post, Roper is sans shirt. Oops!

After a beautiful church service with very special music and a great message, we headed over to Graem's Aunt Linda's for a feast and more egg hunting. The Roper clan did not get together this year, and Graem's family was so sweet to invite my parents to join us. It is unusual to be able to spend time with both sets of parents on a holiday, so this was quite a treat for us.



























One of my favorite things about blogging is looking back at old posts...

Check out Mason hunting eggs in 2009. And Easter Sunday 2009. Here is Easter Sunday 2010.