Lights at the Zoo

Last week my cousin Kate suggested that we take the boys to see the lights at the zoo...she is so sweet...how many college students choose to spend a Friday night with their little cousins?  Then she offered to watch them Saturday morning while I got some Christmas shopping done and Graem hunted.  Yeah, she is pretty great.  (Thanks, Kate!)


Two monkeys + a goat:






Happy stinker...






They had a snow machine at the zoo entrance...M&R were pretty fascinated with the snow...


Happiness:

Back to Blogging

I'm really trying to get back in the mindset of blogging regularly.  It is HARD because I have so many unwritten posts floating around in my head...and so many pictures in my Flickr account that I need to post!! 

I've decided to just start fresh and not worry about the fact that I have six months worth of pictures & stories & adventures to share!  I might not ever get around to posting them, but at least I won't get farther behind.

Here's to a fresh start!!  See you soon.

Test Results & Ramblings

An update before I forget the details...  :)

In my last post I mentioned that Duncan's neurologist can tell from the MRI that the stroke was caused by a blood clot...so the next steps were to test his blood for clotting disorders and also scan his heart to make sure it was working properly (he was born with a heart arrhythmia, so the neuro thought the clot could have originated in his heart).

The blood work came back normal.  We had a little scare with his heart, which was mostly due to a phone call from a nurse that lacked full information on the results of the echocardiogram.   Turns out he has a small hole in the top of his heart called a PFO which is normal for babies in utero but should close on its own after birth.  It is not something that requires surgery to close; our ped is hopeful that as Duncan grows it will close on its own.  He will have another echo in 6 months to monitor it. 

So...the hole probably caused the arrhythmia...but based on the location of the hole, it did not likely cause the clot.  Which makes the stroke more of a mystery.  A mystery which we will probably never solve.  As much as I would like to know exactly when and why it happened, I have accepted that I probably never will know and it wouldn't change anything going forward, so I'm doing my best to let it go.

We are going to see a different neurologist, although we aren't sure who or where.  We really would like to find a ped neurologist that specializes in infant stroke.  In the meantime, Duncan is continuing weekly PT & OT (and of course we are modeling the exercises at home).  He loves it!  The OT made a hard splint that he sleeps in at night and a soft splint that he wears for part of the day.  The main purpose of the splints is to open his right hand and stretch out his fingers, particularly his thumb. 

We can see some improvement from the therapy.  He has been getting up on hands & knees and rocking like he wants to crawl.  I think it will be a while before he takes off because he has to figure out how to make his right hand/knee move forward, but we are happy that he is trying and the therapists like the symmetry of his "crawling stance."  When he first got up on hands & knees, his right arm was bowed out to the side but now he pulls it right underneath him so that the left and right arms are both straight. 

So...we see improvement, but at the same time the weakness in his right side has become more pronounced.  His left side seems to be getting stronger by the minute and it is just happening much more slowly on the right.  He can now feed himself Puffs or Cheerios with his left hand, as for his right hand, we are just happy if we see him attempt to use it at all.

We are still working on starting Speech Therapy (SLP).  Why would a 7-month-old need speech?  For one thing, he is not really babbling at all.  Although he is not entirely quiet, he is not making syllable sounds (baba, dada, etc).  Sometimes SLPs can help with feeding issues, which thankfully he does not have (as of Thursday he is almost 21 lbs!!).  The most important thing an SLP can help Duncan with at this point is cognitive development.  It is easy to focus on the way the stroke affected his right side because thats what we see, but the brain is a muscle which needs exercise, and SLP can help with that through cognitive exercises.  I'm really curious to see what types of things they will do with him!

Lots of people ask me how I'm doing or how I'm handling all of this...and I have to say I really have a peace about everything.  I don't want Duncan's stroke to define him.  I know we will have bumps in the road...but isn't that part of parenting?  I know Duncan will struggle at certain things...but we all have struggles.  I have my moments of sadness and fear but I'm hoping and praying and doing my best to get past that!  Above all, I know that God has a plan and I know that it is the best plan. He blessed us with Duncan which tells me He knows we can handle this! 

Earlier this year our pastor preached through the book of Ephesians.  I don't think Duncan had even been born when he taught Chapter 3, but several of the verses stuck with me.  I saved them in my iPhone, this is my prayer for all of my children and we used these verses on Duncan's baptism invitations:

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Those verses are a reality check for me!  They bring me back to what's important -- teaching my children the love of Christ.  Not to make light of Duncan's condition, but his life will be bigger than what we are going through now.  I'm thankful to be part of it!

Update on Duncan

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog...and now I'm here to write a post that I can't believe I'm writing.  We have just recently found out that sweet Duncan had a stroke around the time he was born. 

A few months ago we started noticing that Duncan prefers to use his left hand.  In his swing, he always reaches for the orange fish to his left.  In his high chair, he will completely twist around to reach for something with his left hand.  In his exersaucer, his right hand will often fall down into the seat while he reaches and plays with his left hand.

Once we noticed it, we couldn't ignore it.  It's not just that he prefers his left hand, he rarely uses his right hand and when he does he has to work at it -- you can tell.  Also, he almost always rolls to his left, because if he rolls to the right his hand gets stuck underneath him.  When we put him on his stomach, he pushes up with both arms but his right hand stays in a fist.  For that matter, his right hand is almost always in a fist, and he usually holds it close to his chest.

I mentioned all of this to his pediatrician at his 6-month check-up, he saw what I meant, but thought we should wait and see if he started using his right hand more by his 9-month check-up.  I just couldn't shake it.  I knew something was not right.

I called back and asked for a referral to a pediatric physical therapist, which our pediatrician was on board with.  We saw the PT the following week, which at this point was just a short 2.5 weeks ago.  She did a very thorough observation/evaluation and said that she thought his leg and foot might also be affected.  She said that therapy would help Duncan, but that to find out WHY he wasn't using his right side we would need to have an MRI done.

Our pediatrician ordered the MRI and it was scheduled for later that week.  Duncan woke up on the morning of the MRI with his first cold and ear infection, so it was delayed for 5 days so he could get a round of antibiotics. 

It was re-scheduled for last Wednesday. The sedation for the MRI was a disaster.  Apparently it is really hard to sedate a chunky baby because there is a layer of fat covering their veins!  After being stuck 6 or 7 times by 4 or 5 different nurses, we gave up on the sedation.  They re-scheduled us to come back the following week to have the MRI done with full anesthesia.  As a last-ditch effort, they suggested I try to feed him and get him in a good, deep sleep & they would try to do the MRI while he was asleep.  Believe it or not, it worked!  He was so sleepy, hungry & tired of being stuck with needles that he zonked out.  The MRI was so loud, I still can't believe he slept through it!!

That was last Wednesday.  On Thursday morning I left for NYC on a trip that had been planned months ago with some good friends.  The timing was awful for sure...but I knew that me going to NYC would not change the results of the test, so I went.  It was really hard to be away, especially when I got the call from Graem with the results.  He never used the word "stroke," but opted for a gentler "spot on the brain."  We were scheduled to meet with a pediatric neurologist on Monday (this week).  I tried my hardest not to obsess over being away and I did enjoy the trip, but I've never been happier to be home, see the big smile of sweet Duncan and hug all of my boys very tightly!

The neurologist appointment was really hard and took most of the afternoon on Monday.  He explained to us that the stroke was caused by a blood clot that traveled through Duncan's neck to his brain around the time he was born.  It is located in the left parietal lobe.  The neurologist describes it as small, but in the pictures Graem and I were surprised at the size of it (definitely more than just a "spot"). Duncan was born with a heart arrythmia that corrected itself by his 2-week check-up, and the neurologist said it is reasonable to think that the arrythmia could have produced the clot, so he is sending us to a cardiologist for more testing.  We also will have blood work done to check for any clotting disorders (next Monday).

Although the neurologist was mostly encouraging, he also presented us with some realities/expectations that were hard to swallow.  I can't even go into them because I refuse to dwell on what the doctor has said Duncan "can't" do -- only time will tell. 

He started OT on Wednesday, which will continue weekly in addition to PT.  He will likely also start speech therapy soon.  We can already see some improved use of his right hand after just the past few weeks of therapy.  Our PT has commented several times that he is very motivated...he is trying to crawl and will work hard to use his right hand when he is challenged!  You will notice in the picture above, which I snapped with my phone earlier tonight, his right hand is open.  He normally has it clenched/fisted, especially when he is asleep.

We have learned that most infant strokes happen randomly and without cause, and that 40% of infant strokes are fatal.  We are so very thankful that the Lord brought Duncan through the stroke.  I can't bear the thought of what my sweet baby went through but I am so grateful for him and that he is otherwise a very healthy and happy baby!  We are encouraged that he is so young and that the brain is an amazing organ that can re-circuit itself to compensate for damage. We are praying for the best and taking comfort in knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him!

Silly

Mason and Roper saw me taking Duncan's 4-month pictures and wanted in on the action...here they are pretending to be baby D.

Four Months Old

Three of the last four blog posts that I've done have been of Duncan & his monthly pictures!  I've taken lots of pictures I just haven't made the time to update my blog.  Now I've let so much time go by that I can hardly remember our trip to Vancouver back in May!!  Hopefully I can go through the pictures soon, which will certainly jog my memory, then I can post them on here because I definitely want to share them!

Little D-Mac is now 4 months old and last weekend he finally started sleeping through the night (cue the "Hallelujah" chorus)!  I'm not sure what he was waiting for.  Mason and Roper slept through the night at 2 months old.  He is also rolling all over the place.  If I swaddle him and put him down on his back he will squirm and wiggle until he's out of the swaddle and then he flips right over.  So, I've given up the swaddle and have started letting him sleep on his tummy (maybe that has helped with the night-time sleep?). 

Now that we're home from the beach I'm making a big effort to get him on a good daytime schedule, with a morning and afternoon nap instead of lots of catnaps throughout the day.  I'm also trying to extend his feedings to closer to 4 hours.  This makes him really mad and usually I give in, after all I don't want to do anything to make him start waking up at 4:00 AM again!  :)

He goes to the pediatrician for his 4-month check-up next week, so I'll post stats then!  For now...

What happened to all that hair he was born with?

Three Years Old

Roper turned 3 on Monday...I'm not really sure how these three years have passed so quickly!!  It doesn't seem like it's been that long since he was Duncan's size...

Birthday


One Year


Two Years


Three Years

Three Months Old

Getting bigger...

Two Months Old

I know its June 6th...I promise I took these on May 17th.  I figured I better post them before Duncan turns 3 months old! 

We've been busy the past few weeks; I have some catching up to do (what's new).  Duncan is smiling and laughing and cooing and has turned from his stomach to his back and from his back to his stomach, although he seemed surprised both times.  I don't think it was intentional, but it happened, so it counts.  Although to be perfectly accurate, both occurences were in the past week, so I probably should have saved that news for the "Three Month" post. 



He really has turned into quite a content little baby, we had some rough weeks, and he still has tummy issues from time to time, but that is not uncommon.  At the suggestion of my cousin Alice and seconded by our pediatrician, we started him on some probiotic drops.  They come in a tee-tiny little glass bottle that costs $40 but they are worth every penny because I really think they've helped him feel better.  There is nothing worse than a baby that you can't comfort!  I also have cut way way back on dairy which might be helping too.  His favorite past-time is being held as much as possible, I'm afraid I've spoiled him, but I'm okay with that!

He is steadily climbing up the charts.  At his 2-month check-up he weighed in at 12.44 lbs (63rd percentile), measured 23" (57th percentile), and head circumference was 15.5" (66th percentile).  He's growing!

Big Boy

I'm still catching up on April news...Roper woke up the second morning of spring break insisting that he wear big boy underwear.



The timing wasn't ideal...I had not intended to potty train Roper while Duncan was only 3 weeks old...I was hoping to start sometime in the summer...but how do you say "no" to a 2-year-old that wants to give all his diapers to his baby brother?

It was peer pressure at its best.  We spent Monday with my friend Kate and her 2 boys (which since then has increased to 3 boys!).  Jesse, Charlie, Mason & Roper had the best time playing in the sprinkler...and Roper was the only one with a swim diaper on under his trunks.  I think he finally realized that diapers are for babies!

He embraced potty training...not to say we haven't had a few many accidents along the way.  Graem was out of town for week 2 of potty training.  He made the mistake of checking in He checked in with me one morning from his meeting in Arizona...


Yeah...that was a long day.  Sometimes whatever happens in the morning seems to set the tone for the rest of the day, therefore that was one crappy day (ha). The other thing Roper has been doing is pooping in the yard.  Ridiculous.  But I think we've gotten through that too.  Or maybe I should say he's gotten it out of his system (sorry, couldn't resist).

And now my potty training disclaimer/tips to anyone that might be embarking on this filthy adventure...

I take a very relaxed approach to potty training.  I'm by no means an expert, but after going through this dreaded experience with two children, I've made some observations that worked for us that yall might find helpful. 

One of my college roommates (Becky) passed along some helpful advice which I've since shared with friends...a good indicator that your child is ready to start training is when they wake up in the morning or from naps dry.  This shows that they have some "bladder readiness."  Another good sign is when they wake up insisting that we give all their diapers to the baby.

During "training," when we're home & awake, I put them in underwear; when we go out or when they go to bed, I put them in pull-ups.  This breaks all the potty training rules that you'll read in books, most of which tell you to go cold turkey to underwear.  That's just not practical for us, I can't tolerate having to clean up an accident in the car, grocery store, etc.

It's helpful to potty train when its warm outside, so you can spend as much time in the yard as possible and minimize damage to your floors & furniture.

I try to take them to the potty about every hour or within 30 minutes of eating/drinking.  The rewards system worked well for us...m&m's or jelly beans or gummy bears or skittles or tic tacs.  I mixed it up to keep it interesting.  1 treat for staying dry and clean + 1 treat for #1 + 2 treats for #2.  Which means they could max out with 4 treats on each trip!

Mason and Roper both caught on to #1 before #2...so I had to be a little manipulative with their diet to get them going.  For instance:  oatmeal & prune juice for breakfast, then straight to the potty.  This would typically result in a reward, and before long they got the hang of it.

Just for boys (might help with girls too, not sure?) -- a friend of mine taught me to put them on the potty backwards, ie facing the tank.  This was more helpful for Mason, who we trained to do #1 sitting down at first.  Roper went straight to standing up because that is what he saw his big brother doing.  We used a potty seat with Mason but not Roper.  Potty seats are gross. Anyway, the sitting backwards helped direct the spray into the water & also seemed to give him some security for #2.

Those are just some tips that worked for us that hopefully some of you will find helpful.  My two oldest have been trained before turning 3, which I count as a success, especially considering that Roper was a baby when Mason was potty training and of course we had a brand new baby when we started potty training Roper. The good news is that I only had 2 children in diapers for a matter of weeks this time!!

Strawberry Patch

These pictures are well over a month old, but they are too cute not to share.

Mason LOVES strawberries.  If you ask him what his favorite food is, he will usually tell you strawberries and bacon and chicken wings.

Back during the week of spring break from preschool we met our friends the Parnells for picking strawberries.  Duncan was with us too but he was in the baby Bjorn...kind of hard to get a picture of him while I was carrying him!





Sampling the berries for quality control...




The boys always end up with red goatees by the end of a trip to the strawberry patch!

Snaggle Tooth

The last shot of the full baby tooth smile...

20 Teeth:


19 Teeth:

Overwhelmed

I'm here to admit that life with three children has been a HUGE adjustment for us. People told me that three was not much harder than two. They lied.

My mantra when Roper was born was to make sure that M&R napped at the same time every day. That really doesn't happen when you throw a third into the mix. It has happened a handful of times, but it's not an everyday occurrence, maybe once a week.

Duncan is definitely my neediest baby, he loves to be held and I guess you would say that he is colicky. The nurse at our ped's office has suggested that I cut dairy out of my diet...but it takes 3 weeks for the dairy protein to get out of your system. What if that ends up not being the problem? I have a long list of things to discuss with our ped at D's 2-month check-up on Thursday. But let's face it, when I have a 2-year-old and 4-year-old to keep up with and the baby cries, he gets held.

So...we are having fun but I feel overwhelmed. Yet I still feel the need to blog. I want to document all the things that are going on with us so that our friends and loved ones that follow my blog can share in them. Also it makes me so happy to read back through my old posts and I just don't want to miss some of this stuff!

Duncan is only 8 weeks old...we are coming off a week of Graem being out of town...I don't believe that "overwhelmed" is our "new normal" but it is for the time being. This too shall pass and we'll get into a routine at some point.

Here's a quick rundown of what's been going on with us:
-Duncan is on the verge of sleeping through the night. I think it will happen in the next week. He still gets up between 3:00 and 4:00 but he falls back asleep before he has had a full feeding.
-Roper is potty trained.
-Mason lost his first tooth.
-Graem and I spent a long weekend in Vancouver and then Graem went on an 8-day Alaskan cruise.

I promise to be back with pictures at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later!

Catching Up: Easter

I'm determined to catch up on the blog posts that I've had floating around in my head for the past few weeks! My Easter pictures are limited and really random...Duncan had just turned 3 weeks old at that point and the whole weekend is kind of a blur! Thursday we went to the zoo with friends...Friday we cooked out & hunted eggs with friends...Saturday we had our church egg hunt at the beautiful Saluda River Club outdoor center...and Sunday we celebrated the resurrection of our Savior with a beautiful church service followed by visiting family at the farm. Easter baskets were sort of an afterthought for us this year. The week before Easter I took M&R to get Easter shoes and Mason begged to try on these: Me: "We aren't here for tennis shoes, we are only getting Easter shoes." Mason (on the way out of the store): "That's okay, Mama. You don't have to buy those orange shoes for me. The Easter Bunny knows I want them and he'll bring them to me." Yeah. There could be worse things that a little boy wants from the Easter Bunny, right? At least shoes will be worn and they are definitely better for him than a bunch of candy! So, the Easter Bunny obliged Mason's #1 request and also brought some for Roper. (For some reason my iPhone photos turn out blurry when the flash is on) Please note the shoes and ignore the fact that my child brought a huge stick in the house. We made these "resurrection rolls" on Easter morning. They turned out just right and were really tasty!

Source: eatatallies.com via Brantley on Pinterest

All of the ingredients have a meaning...the dough represents the cloth that Christ was wrapped in; the marshmallow represents Jesus, all white and pure because he was without sin, etc. Hopefully we can make this a tradition! Here are Mason and Roper right before leaving for church: While we were at the farm Duncan got to meet Gigi. Here is Gi with her eighth great-granchild!