I'll start this post with a confession...I don't like to read parenting books. Being the mother of two young children is a consuming job, so when I make time to read I prefer novels.
When Mason was an infant, I read
James Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys." I knew it was a good one (all of his are)...but it didn't really sink in. At that point I was still under the impression that I had a little angel that could do no wrong on my hands. It didn't take long to learn the true meaning of original sin...and here I am today with a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old that reinforce that meaning every single day!
I'm re-reading "Boys" and I'm so glad. After all, the subtitle is "Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men." Advice and encouragement? Yes, please!
Often I hear from other mothers, "You are so lucky to have boys -- they are so much easier than girls." What??? I have zero experience raising a girl...but maybe they haven't been around my boys...these boys are what John Rosemond calls "little aggressive machines." They are fearless. Roper has learned to jump (which most little girls can't do until they are about 3) -- and he wants to jump off anything and everything. He also has learned to spit (do little girls ever learn this?) -- and he wants to spit on anything and everything.
Don't get me wrong -- they can be very sweet. Roper is just starting to put words together, and last night after we said prayers, he and Mason hugged and kissed goodnight and Ro said "Love you." Melt my heart. They also crack me up on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.
All of that is to say that it brought me a great deal of comfort and satisfaction when I read on page 2 of the book:
"Boys are usually tougher to raise than their sisters are. Girls can be difficult to handle too, but there is something especially challenging about boys. Although individual temperaments vary, boys are designed to be more assertive (check), audacious (double check), and excitable (check) than girls are."
And on page 4:
"One of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump off of it {smile}. He careens out of control toward tables, tubs, pools, steps, trees, and streets. He will eat anything but food and loves to play in the toilet. He makes "guns" out of cucumbers or toothbrushes and likes digging around in drawers, pill bottles, and Mom's purse. And just hope he doesn't get his grubby little hands on a tube of lipstick {big smile}. A boy harasses grumpy dogs and picks up kitties by their ears. His mom has to watch him every minute to keep him from killing himself. He loves to throw rocks, play with fire, and shatter glass. He also gets great pleasure out of irritating his brothers and sisters, his mother, his teachers, and other children. As he gets older, he is drawn to everything dangerous -- skateboards, rock climbing, hang gliding, motorcycles, and mountain bikes. At about sixteen, he and his buddies begin driving around town like kamikaze pilots on sake. It's a wonder any of them survive."
Wow. That sounds daunting! Parenting is h-a-r-d, whether you have boys or girls. How easy it is to become obsessed with controlling their little lives -- from feeding them "all organic" to restricting their tv time to choosing their schools to making sure they are involved in sports but not too involved...oh the list goes on. The thing I love about this book is that it is "practical and encouraging" -- it focuses on what matters. It also provides the reasons why boys are the way they are...why God made them to be assertive, audacious and excitable.
My mother-in-law, who raised two
boys men of her own, tells me all the time that Mason's temperament is so much like Graem's was as a boy. I know my in-laws had some tough and trying times as the parents of GMC Sr...but his assertiveness/audaciousness/excitability/independence paid off as an adult. What better reward can you ask for? One day these rambunctious little boys will be men that will make me proud...and I can tell their wives, "You know, Mason and Roper were just like that as little boys."
